The Dirty Dozen: The Saveur Team Shares Their Favorite “Guilty Pleasures”

Swaddled in a thick layer of cornbread, these little pups remind me that my third-grade math teacher was right: Surface area to volume ratio does matter. —Anna Hirschorn

The Buttery Toffee flavor is my classy adult swap for Cracker Jack. The only bad thing about this trade-off? No prize in the box. —Shane Mitchell

I can go through a sleeve in one sitting, no beverage necessary. Though, dunking these initially crunchy, then ­miraculously melt-in-your-mouth cookies in milk never hurt anybody’s feelings. —­Catherine Tillman Whalen

Plenty of gourmet brands have entered the frozen-burrito market, charging up to $4.99 a pop. This one, 50 cents at Walmart, still tastes better. Wrap in damp paper towels before nuking. Top with melted cheese and hot sauce. But do not look at the ingredients list. —Stephanie Pancratz

It is no more a pizza than a tiny McDonald’s burger is a burger. Similarly delicious in its own right, Totino’s instantly transports me back to preteen slumber parties. —­Sarah Gray Miller

No peanut butter or “crunch berries,” please. Only the original. I’m a purist. —­Dave Weaver

They’ll give you some real stanky breath. What of it? —­Erin Scottberg

When I was little, I dreamed of fusing together the edges of multiple Fruit Roll-Ups to create one mega Fruit Roll-Up quilt. Guess what I do now? Adopt this pro tip, from 8-year-old Eric: Refrigerate the fruit leather for extra chewiness. —Eric Kim

As a former professional bread baker, my carb threshold may be unnaturally high, but these cheese-and-starch ­double whammies (a triple threat when fried in salted butter) are my go-to cure for both hangovers and heartbreak. —­Kat Craddock

I top them with room-­temperature butter or a combination of cream cheese and jalapeño jelly—irresistible either way. —Michellina Jones

The theater-size box is the way to go. Though I shake them out slowly to savor a few at a time and fool myself into thinking I won’t eat them all, I inevitably finish the whole box in one sitting. —Mindy Fox

I’ve loved these for as long as I could turn on an oven. They achieve the perfect balance of salt, fat, crunch, and smoosh. —Monica Michael Willis